• Nicole Vogwill

Labels belong on "stuff". Period.

I genuinely do not think that most people realise the effect a describing word can have on someone. For example, “you’re so thin, eat something” can be just as damaging as “you’re so fat, go on a diet”.

How about we mind our own fucking business? Or if you want to say something, focus on the positives. No flattery though, we don’t like fake compliments.

Really look at someone

what do you like about them? And don’t bottle it up, tell them! A simple “you have gorgeous freckles” could make someone’s day, but a negative comment like *“how awful to have such fair skin” can ruin someone for weeks, month... their entire life.

*I do not think it is awful to have fair skin, mine is pretty damn fair

"So, I am fat. It's a fact."

I am learning that labels are exactly that, and they are meaningless if you allow it. So, I am fat. It’s a fact. Though for someone who has yet to understand that labels are meaningless, that comes to them in a much more detrimental manor. I am also blonde, short, pale, HUMAN.

Don't be a shitty human

Next time you begin to even think something negative about someone else, look deeper. Think about how that would make you feel if it were the other way around. Think about all of the times someone has said something totally shitty to you. Is it worth it?

I’m not saying I’ve never done it because I have. Of course, young minds are naïve.

I was with a guy who was the worst at pointing out negatives about other people. We’d be walking down the street and he’d say something along the lines of “gross, look at the size of her”, about a complete stranger on the other side of the road. He once said it about a girl who was smaller than me, nearly got him a punch to the balls before it hit me that it’s probably easier for him to point out other’s flaws, than it is to think about his own. This was the point I realised how fucked up we really are and what my own thoughts can do to others.

Are we just reflecting our own issues, self doubt, in the hopes it’ll make us feel better?

I feel torn about the next half of this ramble. Positive labels.

*Do you see the marks on the inside of my thighs (I know, I can't believe I'm asking the internet to look closely in between my legs...), that, ladies and gentlemen, is a direct result of chub rub. Pure pain.

They’re still labels, right? But are they acceptable because of the effect they have.... Confident. Feminine. Intelligent. Brave.

Double standards?

When used in the correct way, surely certain labels are more beneficial than injurious. It seems like double standards but I am 100% for anything that uplifts another human, no matter who they are, whether I care for them, know them, understand them.

I still tread carefully with positive labels, if someone isn’t ready to hear it. Basically, think before you speak. Observe the person you are speaking with if you can. Is this something they need or can it wait, is it flattery or appreciation?

Negativity and bringing others down will not be tolerated by me, whether its towards yourself or someone else. Trust me, being uplifting and positive heads better results and better feelings.